Collective resilience
Resilience is hugely important when life is difficult.
More than just an individual concept, effective resilience has a collective and relational aspect that encourages us to focus on those around us.
A recent study conducted by the Mental Health Foundation supports the idea that resilience enables us to manage the emotional challenges we face in a pandemic. It gives us coping strategies and helps us withstand stress.
The resilience I am describing here moves beyond the individual to something much more collective, involving our connections with others.
The Resilience Research Centre encourages us to think of resilience as the responsibility of families, communities and governments. They need to provide resources for the individuals that make up these groups.
When things are tough it is tempting for all of us to retreat to our separate corners
We live in an era of electronic connectivity. It’s possible for each member of a household or family group to immerse themselves in a screen world that might distract us from the difficulties around us, keeps us entertained and informs us about what is happening in the wider world.
But we are in danger of losing the connectivity with those we are closest to. We miss out on the resilience we can create from strong relationships with each other.
Collective resilience is about working together
In times of difficulty it is important to:
acknowledge and understand what is causing you distress rather than denying its existence
have compassion on yourself so that those around you have permission to do that too
listen to each other and enable others to be heard
avoid blaming others but instead consider how it is for the other person
collaborate together, keeping hope alive and remembering the good times
for parents, give our children the stability that comes with knowing that they are loved and accepted no matter what
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts
In my work as a family therapist, my approach considers the context and relationships of the whole family. This looks back to the roots of the profession and the Systems theorists of the 1940s with their concept that “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”
As the recent Mental Health Foundation study reports, “Through connecting with others, we receive affirmation of our identity and share compassion for our struggles.”
If we focus only on ourselves as individuals, we might miss the chance to develop the resilience that comes from harnessing the strengths and support we already have in our families and that can help us to face the future together.